4 months

Today, it is 4 months since my Mom passed away ! I have had many ups and downs since she passed, and I expect that there will be a lot more to come.


I have a picture of my Mom and I, on the wall, in the staircase. I pass it a million times a day.  I put it up shortly after she passed away. I can see it from where I am sitting right now.  It is this picture.

This was taken when we were having a mini vacation at a near by spa. Mom, Daniel, and I went for the weekend. It is at her favorite beach (where we also spread her ashes). This was such an awesome weekend that we had !  I love that I can see the reflection of the beach, in the sunglasses that she is wearing. To me it symbolizes that it is her permanent view. She will forever be at the beach !

This picture was from the same weekend. We went mini golfing at a great place at a near by town here. This is my Mom and my son Daniel playing !

This was after the minigolfing ! We went on the bumper water boats. They have these mini guns on them that squirt water. We completely soaked each other, and laughed and laughed about it !  It was great !

This one was from our trip up to Kelowna, to see my brothers.  We had already drove 5 hours, and taken a 2 hour ferry ride. This again, is my Mom and my son.

This is my all time favorite picture of the two of them together !  When I got back home, I printed off a copy and took it over to Mom's house for her to have. This one has always made me laugh.




I miss her so much. Sometimes I think that it has already been 4 months ! Wow, time is going fast... and then there are a lot of times (like today) that I think that time is going so slow. I don't know how I am supposed to go on feeling like this for another 30 years or so.  


She was my best friend. It hurts to lose your Mom, but it's worse when you were so close to her, like I was. 


Lately I have been picking up the phone, and trying to call her. Or I think of something that I want to tell her. Even small things like something is on sale at the store that she might be interested in. 


What I would give to have just 5 more minutes with her. Just to hug her, give her a kiss, tell her I love her. Let her hold my baby, and give my son a hug. I just want her back.