Dear Depression

Dear Depression:


Kiss my ass !


You have been nothing but a major shithead to me, for a long time now. I hate you. I hate that you can control me. I hate that you decide how my day is going to go. 


You know what ?? I had plans today. My son invited a friend over, and we were all going to go to the beach for the day.  I even got everything ready to go, and then I decide that I no longer want to. Fuck you. 


Now, I don't know what to do. I feel happier when I am outside in the sunshine. I wish things were easier.

When I get sad, I cry. When I think about Mom, I cry. When certain commercials come on, I cry. When Olivia does something new, I cry. When my son says something jokingly to me, I cry.

You know what ??  I am tired of crying !! I hate this.


I have decided, that fuck it, I may not be going to the beach now, but I am going to do something I have never ever done before ! I am going to do something that my Mom loved to do.  Maybe I will find out that I love it as well.


I am going to garden !  I have a garden outside that came with the house. There are weeds in there (at least I *think* they are weeds !) and grass in it as well that all needs to be taken out.


Olivia and I are going to go in the backyard. She can walk around and play with her toys, and I will garden.


Fuck you depression. 


You do not win this round !